So some few weekends ago Masaku 7s happened. That weekend was apparently my worst/best experiences of my life. I categorize it at that because honestly i have never exploded like that in my life.
It all started at 6PM that night at sunken park. We parked our car and bought a lot of liquor knowing that that night was a day to ‘YOLO’ for lack of a better word. So off we went heading to the county of Machakos. To fast-forward this story, it, as the night as the night progressed i came across my ‘girlfriend’ with another dude. That is when all hell broke loose.
I have always seen this shit on TV but never thought that i would also be a victim. If you were lucky enough to see me that day, you would have thought that i was possessed. Things went out of control within a few seconds and i lashed out like a cornered cat. What i did and said that day to be honest i never knew i had it in me. I can’t blame it on liquor because that wasn’t the reason, i wasn’t angry either but i was spiteful. Have you ever been in a situation where you gave it your all only someone to give you back some loose change. That was the position i was in.
My friend Michael told me that what he experienced was ‘THE’ breakup he has ever experienced. My advise to all you people dating is that whenever you have doubts of your partner, just sit them down, talk to them, solve the issue once and for all. If you can’t tell your partner the truth just get out of that relationship. That was actually my problem; i didn’t know how to tell my girlfriend the truth and i paid dearly for it.
So here are my seven stages of breakup. I haven’t experienced them all but I’ll still share.
- Desperate for answers: The drive to know is consuming and can come at the expense of rational thoughts and behaviors. This is where you are confused, angry and think of what your ex said and what how it contradicted. You act like a detective patching up all those weird behaviors of hers thinking that they all make sense now.
- Denial: You don’t actually believe the relationship is over after investing everything in it. You think of all the ways of saving it even at the expense of your well being.
- Bargaining: You are willing to do anything to accept that it is over thinking that you’ll be a better and more attentive partner. You think that you’ll make everything that is wrong right. You stand on an edge clinging to any hope that is available to you. During this phase, when you promise to fix all the problems between the two of you, you are placing the entire burden of repairing, maintaining and sustaining a relationship onto yourself.
- Relapse: Because the pain is unbearable you might actually be able to convince your ex to try again
- Anger: I have already experienced this in full momentum so i won’t talk about it.
- Initial acceptance: When it happens early though it feels like acceptance. You are holding the end of your breakup because you have to, not because you want to.
- Redirecting hope: It’s jarring when forced to redirect your hope from the known entity of the relationship into the abyss of the unknown.